I planned a mini road trip for Ryan and I to visit Gold Country this weekend. We left Friday, drove a leg of Highway 49 checking out little historic towns and abandoned gold mines and ended the day wine tasting in an 1860s house. Saturday we did more sightseeing before heading home. We had a great time, reenergized, and reconnected.
I’m not going to lie, part of the reason I planned this little getaway was to corner Ryan long enough to get him to relax and talk logistics. I’m learning less-is-more with my husband. He doesn’t want details or play-by-plays. He wants a brief, an executive summary or a bottom line.
So over fish tacos on the side of the highway I asked him exactly 3 infertility questions:
- “If money was no issue and we had cash in the bank, when would you want to start an IVF cycle?” Ryan’s answer: as soon as possible, no time like the present
- “Do you want me to include you in all the financing decisions, or would you rather I just do it?” Ryan’s answer: just do it, it’s usually best when he’s spared the details and just hands over a dollar amount every 2 weeks.
- “Do you want to know where the money is going to come from?” This got Ryan’s attention. So I told him my grand plan to cash out part of my IRA and also open a home equity line of credit. Between the IRA and the home equity loan we will have enough to pay for the IVF, pay off my student loan, and repair and paint the exterior of our home.
You see, I want to move. I love our 1918 craftsman, but it’s drafty, damp and it’s bones are OLD and hard to work with. We’ve done major upgrades over the years, and the exterior is the last big hurdle. Wood work and painting will have to happen eventually, and and paying off my student loan will majorly improve my borrower profile. Oh, and while we’re borrowing, we might as well scoop out enough cash to buy a pregnancy, too.
Ryan had some irrelevant questions and requests (like re-tile the bathroom, too? No dear, not enough ROI) but otherwise just nodded. So that’s it; I have the ok. And fish taco conversation went back to lighter matters.
Our original plan was to pursue IVF next calendar year for insurance purposes, but when I really crunched the numbers I realized timing doesn’t make much of a difference. So I just sent an email to Pearl, the RN at the Infertility Specialist’s office, and told her “We’re ready when you are. When do we start?”