Today I am 34 years old. Last year, when I turned 33, I could not have imagined the wild terrain that lay ahead of me in the coming year. I don’t think I could have packed much more into being 33 if I tried. It has been a year of leaps and bounds and tremendous blessings. 34 will bring it’s own unique mix the way that life does, but new life – our little girl – will come with it.
Last year, right before my birthday, Ryan and I had just completed an adoption orientation that went to absolute shit. Ryan did not have a heart for adoption and I was utterly heartbroken. He suggested getting a second opinion on IVF, I think more to keep me from going off the edge than actually because he thought it would do some good. A couple days later I made the appointment, mostly because I was grasping at straws for something to make me feel better, not because I thought it would do any good, either.
That was a bad time, but God is good. He is good in the good times, and with us in the bad times, and will never abandon or forsake us.
The day after I turned 33 I saw a house for sale and told Ryan “let’s go see it.” Thus began the long 4 month fiasco of selling our tiny craftsman and buying the 1960s ranch. We moved, and throughout the year have poured our weekends and all our money into flooring, bathrooms, paint, drywall, siding, fixtures, appliances, recessed lighting, baseboards, and furniture just to name a few.
Our second opinion led to a cycle of IVF, which was wildly successful and yielded a healthy pregnancy with a baby girl on the first shot.
Ryan changed jobs. I changed jobs. We got a new car and sold mine. Our cat Hazel almost died, but didn’t (although we have a kitty heart condition to manage – she’s doing well). Devastating wildfires in October tore through 5,000 homes and will forever change our city, but our home is safe.
TENS OF THOUSANDS of dollars were spent this year between the house and the IVF, and in all honestly I look back and can’t quite figure out where it came from or how we paid for everything. Our savings, earnings and proceeds from the sale of the house just don’t quite add up. We will be paying off the IVF through next year, but can easily do it. God is good.
Next year the baby girl will be the blessing of all blessings. God does not work on a reward system; Ryan and I did nothing to earn the relief, joy, pinch-ourselves-because-this-life-can’t-be-real feeling. I am thankful for every good thing that came of being 33, and am thankful for a good God who will walk with me through 34, regardless of what may come.