I am 10 weeks pregnant, and fully intended to write a blog post a couple weeks ago, after my most recent dr appointment. The little heartbeat was fluttering away! But it’s a shelter in place lifestyle, where I am working full time from home with no childcare and and raising a 2 year old so free time and mental space has been scarce.
This morning I got my blood drawn for a screening of chromosomal abnormalities as well as the gender. We should get the results in about a week – a perk to being a geriatric pregnancy. We’ve still told no one, and honestly we didn’t intend to keep things quiet for this long. But secrets are easy to keep when you don’t leave the house, so we might as well wait until we get all the test results back.
I’ve been feeling overall a bit better, off and on. Still, symptoms never got as bad as with Abby, which makes me think this is a boy. There is some internal debate as to whether or not I was even feeling pregnancy nausea/ exhaustion or if it was the result of never getting dressed or leaving the house. Similarly, I’ve gained 2 lbs, but I think that’s quarantine weight and not pregnancy weight. I have had BAD heartburn, though, and that’s definitely pregnancy! I’ve been craving bagels, yogurt, fruit and refried beans, and it all gives me heartburn. I haven’t been eating that great, which I’m not proud of. I make an effort to ingest vegetables and protein, but I am also hitting the desserts and refined carbs more than I’d care to admit. I definitely did much better with my first pregnancy as far as diet is concerned. Also, I’ve started drinking a little coffee again. I blame Abby, who suddenly is afraid of the dark and rarely sleeping through the night. Hopefully my less than perfect diet will be bolstered by all the vitamins I’m taking.
I’m on my last week of infertility drugs, too – whooo hooo! I am down to 1/2 ml of progesterone in oil injections, and 1 tablet of estrace. All will be done by this Friday! My next appointment is in 2 weeks, when I will be 12 weeks pregnant.
The state of the world has been hard and exhausting, and there is part of me that dreads bringing another baby home to care for. I am barely keeping my head above water as is between work, housework, child rearing and nothing to look forward to. I know its a cardinal sin to complain about children after suffering from infertility, and of course I know the alternative to NOT having a second child is far, far worse. I suppose I’m just recognizing that life isn’t easy. This pregnancy is the absolute best case scenario, an answer to many years of prayer, and it’s going to be hard. I just hope that this winter we still won’t be so restricted in our social lives and our finances will have recovered. Nothing like a pandemic to teach me to trust in God. There is nothing I can do to control the state of the world or ensure things will change. I just have to trust that God is in control and will not forsake us. Times may be uncertain, but they are not uncertain to Him.
Go On Until You Come to the End 