Today I am 10 weeks pregnant. The baby is the size of a date and has arm buds and leg buds and can taste what I eat through the amniotic fluids (!!!). All my regular pre-natal appointments are scheduled. The baby did have a twin – an identical twin that split off, developed its own sac, but never formed a fetal pole. The doctor said this happens, and it will pass during delivery and will be so small that no one will notice.
Something unexpected – I find myself eager and brimming with pride to tell all medical staff anywhere “This is an IVF pregnancy.” I never want to tell any layman such a personal thing, but medical staff who know what IVF is and what it involves are another story. This pregnancy was the result of a long fight and unbelievable modern medicine, and it’s nothing short of a miracle. To anyone who will listen I proudly clarify “this is an IVF pregnancy.”
At 10 weeks, my pants are all tight on me so I resort to “fat pants” and elastic waist bands. I have acne, feel bloated and tired, and overall the polar opposite of any “pregnancy glow.” But it’s wonderful to know I am drained because my body is growing a human, and my hormones are going haywire because I am pregnant. Ryan and I look at each other and still don’t believe it. Or oddly, we believe I’m pregnant, just can’t believe I’m pregnant with a child that is biologically ours.
About 2 weeks ago I woke up one morning and felt dramatically better. It was such a change I worried something could be wrong, but no, the pregnancy nausea that plagued me for weeks let up considerably. I have my moments of exhaustion and being utterly turned off by things, but it’s manageable. I had tried to brace myself for another month of feeling like everything made me gag, and it just seemed so draining, so I am THANKFUL.
What I’ve been doing right: I exercise 5-6 days a week. Sometimes it’s a strenuous hike or weight training, other days it’s a slow 30-minute walk around the neighborhood, but I am making a point to keep exercise a regular part of my routine. I’m also sleeping plenty, and I’m looooving it. I haven’t touched soda or diet soda or any sugary drinks. And I pray fervently for this baby every day, all the time.
What I’ve been doing wrong: My eating habits have been atrocious. I so desperately wanted to eat clean and organic during this pregnancy, but that has turned out to mean organic bread and organic cheddar cheese for all 3 meals. Other times it means sour patch kids.
What’s different: My appetite, obviously. I can’t eat the quantity that I used to and don’t like many of the foods that I used to. I also require an unreasonable amount of water. I used to drink a lot of water, now I drink twice that, and if I don’t, I feel sick to my stomach and like I’m dying of thirst in the dessert. Literally I drink over 200 oz of water of day and just want more and more.
Cravings: Cold fruit and fruit juice; water; pretzels; udon, miso and pho soups; Chinese food; cheddar cheese; bread
Aversions: vegetables; old food; dried fruit; spicy foods
Weight gain: I haven’t been on the scale in a week and I’m terrified. I don’t even know what I weight when I started IVF. I think I’m up about 10 lbs from earlier this summer.
Alcohol/ caffeine: I drink 8 oz of coffee every morning, measured out by my Keurig. I wish it was more. I haven’t touched alcohol apart from one work-sponsored happy hour I had to attend. I didn’t want to be the awkward person not drinking and didn’t want to tell my coworkers I was pregnant, so I ordered a light beer and sipped half of it over the course of 2 hours. I felt so terrible about it and ashamed and will not do it again.
Baby names/ Gender: We haven’t talked about names, and probably won’t until we know the gender. Historically, we haven’t agreed much on names at all. We will find out the gender as soon as we can. Ryan wants a boy. As long as I can remember I have always assumed Ryan and I would have a boy, but for some reason now I feel like it’s a girl. I wouldn’t put money on that, but if I had to guess, I’d say girl.