Weight Gain: 13 lbs
Trimester: 2
Month: In the 5th month?
Physical Changes: I am definitely showing, but can still hide it if I try. These days I get up to pee about 3 times a night, but my kitty is partially to blame. Peeing frequently in the day is a reality, too.
Energy: I’ve been tired lately. Just worn out, and prone to dizziness, nausea and headaches. I’ve always been one to deny myself rest, and as a hard-working mom with a full-time job and a household to run I rarely take time to myself. But pregnancy is one season in life that I feel like watching tv for a solid 2 hours in the middle of my work (from home) day is not a sign of laziness, but something of necessity for the health of my baby. We had a busy but really fun weekend, full of beaches and family and golf and friends, and today, Monday, I am just worn out. I remember enjoying the excuse to take it easy in my first pregnancy, and that is not something I will deny myself now.
Exercise: I walk the dog most days, and while I try to get myself to do 20 or 30 minutes of weights, in all honesty that just hasn’t been happening. See: energy above. I will try to get back on the horse, since I know exercise begets energy, and it’s just so good for my mental health.
Appetite: FINALLY, my appetite seems to be slowing up, and I am recalling similarities to my first pregnancy. Often nothing seems good. Or I am surprised at how little I’ve eaten, or that I don’t want any more. Usually I am an eater in everyday life, so it’s nice to not feel so out of control with these hormones. One admission of guilt: I feel like I’ve probably eaten ice cream more than 50% of the days of this pregnancy.
Mental/ Emotional Changes: I’ve had emotional days, but nothing overly dramatic. I am so excited for this little girl, but also a little sad to think of the time it will take away from Abby. I start to think about the transition she will go through having to share the attention of her parents, and while it will be a good thing in the long run, it breaks my heart to think of her struggling. I hope I can just supply more than enough love for the both.
Baby Prep: I’ve been buying probably too many baby clothes, which is ridiculous since I have tons of left overs from Abby, but man, girl clothes are so cute and so damn cheap these days.
Names: Hannah, Cassandra (Cassie), Alexandra. I keep leaning toward Hannah, as common as it may be, because I feel so good about both my girls being given strong, biblical women as namesakes. They will always have those stories to guide them.
COVID: Our lives continue to go on. Ryan’s income has recovered, I am still working from home (and LOVING IT), and we are learning how to develop a social life and get out and do things while still staying safe and respectful. We have all been healthy, and just marveling at what a strange time it is to be alive. May God continue to protect us and guide us through this, because really, the future is anyone’s guess.
Dr Appointments: Next week I have my 20 week anatomy scan (I will be 22.5 weeks when it’s done) and a phone appointment with my doctor. I’m eager to see the little girl on screen. I feel her move all the time now, but seeing them count her little tiny bones and appendages will be a lot of assurance.
Infertility: A very close friend of mine came over yesterday. We sat on my back patio, 6 feet apart, and had a long overdue conversation. She just completed an egg retrieval after 3 years of recurrent miscarriages. Neither of us had been open with each other about our struggles because we are both kind of private people, and despite knowing each other our whole lives don’t talk all that often. This was something I regret, as she told me she had not once, in all her time of cautiously sharing with a select few what she was going through, met someone who said “I struggle with fertility, too.” If I had been less closed off, I wonder what a support system I could have been to her all those years when she felt like such a pariah. So, we properly caught up yesterday, for hours, started at the beginning with each other, shared, cried, supported, and hoped. She is waiting on the PGS testing results of her embryos and feels heartened by my success. I will pray for her, continue to reach out, and learn from this. Infertility at times seems like ages ago (silly, isn’t it, considering I was just at the clinic in March doing serious things). Going forward, I cannot forget that pain and hurt and isolation that plagued me for years and need to speak up. There are women waiting in the wings for an ally.
Go On Until You Come to the End 